Skinman 5

Title: Skinman 5: Dinner with Skinner
Author: ML
Originally posted 11/24/01

Distribution: Ephemeral, Gossamer, Enigmatic Dr., or if you’ve archived me before, yes; if you haven’t, please just let me know and leave headers, email addy, etc. attached. Thanks!
Spoilers: Through S8
Rating: PG-13
Classification: Skinner POV. Definitely AU.

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, they belong to Chris Carter, TenThirteen, and Fox Broadcasting. I mean no infringement, and I’m making no money.

Note: This picks up right after “Skinman 4: Clearing the Air,” in which Skinner and Scully have a chat over coffee.

Summary: Linda Kimberly meets “the family.”

———–

Dinner with Skinner by ML

Skinner lets himself in to his apartment and methodically puts the vegetables from the farmer’s market in the refrigerator, and puts the apples in a bowl on the counter. It’s the one spot of color in the kitchen. It’s almost the only spot of color in the whole damn apartment, he thinks. The place is decorated in neutrals. It’s a sterile, soulless environment. Not that it bothered him in the past. When he moved here, it’s what he wanted.

He hadn’t wanted anything that would remind him of his failed marriage to Sharon. He’d willingly given her everything she wanted, and sold the rest. He’d gone in one afternoon and picked out all the furniture for his new place, barely thinking about what he bought, signing the receipts and arranging for delivery as though he’d been conducting an office move.

His office actually holds more mementos than his apartment does. All his apartment holds are bad memories.

He needs a change, he thinks. Not just a change of living quarters, something more drastic than that.

Lately he’s been thinking more and more about quitting the Bureau. But, somehow it seems cowardly to him. Scully is still there, and though officially she’s not supposed to have anything to do with the X Files, she finds ways to help out — and Mulder does, too, through his odd friends. Mulder doesn’t have anything to do with the Bureau directly, but has let it be known that Byers, Langly, and Frohike are willing to help. He has passed information to Agent Doggett through them a couple of times. Skinner is no longer sure that his presence is a help to the X-Files, if it ever really was, and to him, that’s the only valid reason for staying any longer. Any idealism he had about the FBI and his own contribution to the greater good died some time ago.

He considers floating the idea of quitting the Bureau to Mulder. In fact, Mulder suggested some time ago that he consider doing so. Skinner thought it had been more in jest at the time, and Mulder hasn’t mentioned it again. But Skinner has given it a lot of thought since.

The doorbell shakes him out of his self-absorption. He looks through the fisheye lens and sees Linda peering back up at him, smiling. He smiles as he opens the door. She’s wearing a purple sweater and a print skirt that swirls around her as she enters.

“Hi Walter,” she says as she comes in, handing him a grocery bag. He bends down to take it and she reaches up and gives him a glancing kiss, right on the lips. His smile gets a little broader.

“How was your meeting?” Skinner asks. He takes the bag into the kitchen to unpack it.

“Oh, the usual. You can’t imagine what passion people can work up over the Library of Congress. Or the Dewey Decimal System, for that matter.”

Skinner thinks it would be a relief to care passionately about something like that for a change, but it’s not something he can explain to Linda. He grunts an agreement.

“So, tonight I finally get to meet the family, huh?” Linda says, her eyes twinkling.

Skinner shows his surprise at Linda’s characterization of Mulder and Scully. She continues, “Well, they are the closest thing you’ve got to a family, aren’t they? You talk about them, and Will, all the time. I know how much they mean to you.”

“Yeah, they do,” Skinner agrees. But you mean a lot to me too, he thinks, but doesn’t say out loud. He seems to be having a lot of conversations with himself lately.

Linda smiles. It’s almost as if she heard his thought. She busies herself in the kitchen, inspecting the produce Skinner bought that morning.

“So,” she says casually, “do you think I’ll meet with their approval?”

“Linda, that’s not what this is about,” Skinner says.

“Really?” she says. “I feel like it’s `Meet the Parents,’ or something. Not in a bad way,” she hastens to reassure him. “I’m really glad I finally get to meet them. Will is adorable, and I’ve been wanting to meet his folks.”

Linda knows only that Mulder and Scully both used to work with Skinner at the FBI. Even though she’s at the same university as Mulder, they’re in different departments and she’s never met him. Skinner hasn’t told her anything about the weird goings-on in their lives, or the part he’s played in all of it. He’s going to have to tell her something, some day, but he tells himself that he’s protecting her. The less she knows about this stuff, the better. He’s not sure he knows how to explain it to her, anyway. He has a hard time believing some of it himself, most days.

“Don’t get me wrong, Linda, I do hope that you like them, and that they like you,” he says earnestly, “but it’s okay if you don’t. Mulder and Scully…they, they’re…they’ve had a tough time, the past couple of years, before William was born. And their approach to things is a little different. Mulder, especially.”

“Do you always call them by their last names?”

“No, but that’s illustrative of what I mean. Mulder doesn’t like his first name, so almost everyone calls him Mulder. Including Scully. I mean, including Dana.”

“She doesn’t have a thing about her first name too, does she?”

“No, she doesn’t. But Mulder started out by calling her by her last name, and it stuck. Mulder always calls her Scully, even now. I kind of fell into the habit, but I try to remember to call her Dana.”

“Oh,” is all Linda says. “Any other rules I should know about, words I shouldn’t mention, or anything?”

“They can both be a little hard to get to know, at first,” Skinner starts to explain, and then he sees that she’s smiling.

“Walter, I know there’s a lot about your job you can’t talk about, and I’m guessing that the same is true for your friends. I just don’t want to say anything I shouldn’t. I’m just a little nervous, meeting people that you’re so close to, and I do want them to like me.”

Skinner turns Linda away from the counter and toward him. He hugs her close. “I know you do, Linda. And I know they’ll like you. I want you to like them, too.” He pulls away from her but keeps his hands on her upper arms. “You’re right, there’s a lot I haven’t been able to tell you about what I’ve seen and done at the Bureau. A lot of it concerns Mulder and Dana pretty closely. I’m not trying to keep secrets from you, but some of the things aren’t mine to tell.”

Linda looks up at him with trusting eyes. “I understand,” she says simply. “I know you’d tell me if you could.”

Something in her look shakes him deep inside. Has anyone ever trusted him like this? Did Sharon? Maybe that wasn’t a fair comparison. He’d distanced himself from her long before he had any involvement with the X-Files. The X-Files was just the last nail in the coffin he’d built long before, probably as far back as Viet Nam.

How can he explain to Linda that it’s been his friendship with Mulder and Scully that allowed him to open himself up again? Not just to “extreme possibilities,” as Mulder would say, but to the ordinary yearning for a connection with another human being?

He looks down at Linda, still in his arms, still smiling. He plants a quick kiss on her lips. “I do want to tell you,” he says. “I want to tell you lots of things. And I will, I promise you.” He kisses her again, and her sweet response makes him want to forget about the guests coming in a few hours. He gets himself in hand and releases her. “We’d better get started on dinner,” he says, and is warmed by Linda’s look of disappointment.

The rest of the afternoon passes quickly, as time always seems to do when he’s with Linda. She cuts up the vegetables while he mixes up a marinade for the meat, and then he cuts up the apples while she makes pie crust. Soon the apartment is filled with the smell of baking. They talk, or not, as the mood takes them, and he feels relaxed and easy with her. He has a little anxiety about the evening and how it will go, but he won’t allow it to take over.

Linda’s just putting the finishing touches on the table when the doorbell rings. Skinner squeezes her shoulder as he passes by to greet his guests.

He opens the door to see Mulder and Scully standing there, looking for all the world like Mr. and Mrs. Normal Life. He’s struck by how good they look together, how they complement each other. Mulder has his usual dark pullover on, and black jeans, and he’s got his arm around Scully. Scully favors lighter colors in her off hours; tonight she’s wearing a green wool cardigan with colored flecks in it, and a khaki skirt. She’s carrying one of the bouquets she bought that morning at the farmer’s market. They could be the poster couple for Land’s End.

“Hi,” Mulder says. “We’re your local MUFON representatives. Could we interest you in some fine alien detection products for your home?”

So much for the normal couple image. Skinner snorts and says, “Get in here, Mulder, before my neighbors call the cops.”

“You *are* the cops, Skinman,” Mulder reminds him with a smirk.

“Mulder,” Scully warns him.

“What?” he says with an innocent air. Scully rolls her eyes and smiles at Skinner.

“I did tell him he had to behave,” she says to Skinner. “Not that he listens to me much.”

“Lighten up, Scully,” Mulder mutters out of the side of his mouth.

Linda stands by the table, watching this exchange. Skinner gestures to her and says, “This is my friend, Linda Kimberly.”

Mulder smiles and takes her hand. “Nice to meet you, Ms. Kimberly,” he says formally. He’s being completely charming, and Skinner can see Linda relax.

Scully comes forward and hands her the flowers. “It’s nice to meet you,” she says as well.

“Thank you,” Linda says with a touch of shyness. Skinner has never seen her behave shyly before, and it makes him feel protective toward her.

There’s a little flurry of awkwardness as the four of them sort themselves out and Linda takes the flowers to put them in water. Skinner pours wine for Scully and Linda, and gets a couple of beers for himself and Mulder. He says, “I need to check the barbecue,” and heads out to the balcony. He’s relieved that the introductions went well, but he’s still feeling a bit jittery.

Mulder follows Skinner out to the balcony. He leans against the railing and sips his beer, but his eyes keep straying to Scully as she stands talking with Linda inside. Skinner has noticed this habit for years. If Scully is in the same room as Mulder, Mulder’s attention is at least partly focused on her, even if he’s not looking at her directly. He always seems to have an awareness of her proximity, not to mention her general state of mind. Scully has surprised him once in a while, though. He remembers the look of gratified surprise on Mulder’s face when Scully backed up his theory during the Modell case, some years ago. Even after all this time, Mulder doesn’t seem to accept the fact that Scully cares for him as a given.

The two men look out over the darkening skyline and drink their beers. It’s a comfortable silence. It’s one of the changes in his relationship with Mulder, that they can talk, or not talk, and it’s not awkward. He’s still working on that with Scully, but he thinks their conversation earlier that day has helped somewhat.

Skinner finds his attention drawn, like Mulder’s, back into the living room. It looks warm and inviting, mainly because of the two women in it. Scully, with her flame red hair, and Linda in her purple sweater, compliment each other. The two women are close to the same height, he notes. They are both beautiful, though in very different ways. Scully’s beauty is quiet and self-contained. She’s always tailored looking, even in casual clothes. He has seldom seen her with a hair out of place. Linda, on the other hand, seems more at ease, and somehow softer. Comfortable? More approachable? He’s not sure how to describe her. He only knows that he’d been drawn to her almost instantly.

When Skinner first met Linda, they’d both spent the morning in the park, minding their young charges. Linda’s hair had been pulled back, but little wisps had escaped around her face. She’d been wearing an old tee shirt and jeans. It amazes him that he remembers these details. He’d been a little embarrassed at his own appearance, which had been less than spit and polish after trying to keep up with Will in the park.

She certainly doesn’t fit the usual stereotype of her profession. Linda teaches at the same university where Mulder works. She holds a doctorate in Library Science. She also teaches beginning computer classes for senior citizens through the community extension program. Art is her hobby, and she has actually exhibited some of her work locally. She is far from flamboyant, but she doesn’t fit the stereotype of “professor” or “librarian” either.

Gradually, they’ve discovered that they have a lot in common. They share a taste in literature and movies. They both enjoy preparing and eating good food. Though Linda is outwardly very friendly, she respects his boundaries, and doesn’t try to pry into his life. She doesn’t try to overwhelm him with details of hers, either.

He’s discovered that he is more open to new ideas and experiences than he would have suspected. Skinner never knew or cared much about art before, but Linda taught him to look at it with new eyes. He’s found that he enjoys going “junking,” driving around the countryside looking for yard or estate sales. She is always on the lookout for something she can use in her artwork.

She has literally brought life and color back into his existence. He’s not sure that he’s done anything close to comparable for her.

Linda invests herself fully in everything she does, and always seems to have a positive outlook. Skinner is a little envious of that. He’s seen a less pleasant side of life; has experienced evil and terror firsthand. He hopes that she will never have to know either, and it worries him that just being around him might put her in danger. Sometimes he thinks that it would be better if he stopped seeing her, or at least kept her at arm’s length. But it’s getting harder and harder to do that, and he’s less inclined to consider it as time goes on. If Mulder and Scully are brave enough to pursue a personal life, why can’t he?

It will mean telling Linda what she’s in for, trying to make her understand the dangers he faces, and how they might affect her. And if he’s going to do that, he will have to do it soon, before there’s no turning back.

“Spill, Walter,” Mulder interrupts his reverie. “How long have you known Linda?”

Skinner tells Mulder the story of how he met Linda the first time he baby-sat William.

“Told you he was a babe magnet,” Mulder chuckles. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us about her before this.”

“There wasn’t really anything to tell,” Skinner maintains. “We’ve gone out a few times, met for coffee, that sort of thing.”

“You haven’t scared her away yet, huh? Is it getting serious?”

Skinner doesn’t answer right away.

“Walter, what does she know about what’s going on?” Mulder persists.

“Nothing, really,” he admits. “I haven’t told her much.”

“But you’re gonna have to, right?”

Skinner nods. “But how do you think it’s going to sound? She’s not going to believe any of it. I didn’t, not for a long time.”

“Welcome to my world, Skinman,” Mulder says. “But give her some credit. Not everyone is as bull-headed as you were, or as most of the FBI. Even you were more open to it than you’d admit. She might surprise you.”

“I know, I know,” Skinner says. Like he hasn’t been through this argument with himself a couple of times.

“Seriously, Walter, you have to tell her the truth. If you care about her, she’s got to know.”

“I *know*,” he says sharply. “But how long was it before Scully believed any of this?”

“Maybe she didn’t believe right away,” Mulder says, “But she trusted me. If Linda trusts you, she’ll at least listen to you.”

Linda pokes her head out the door. “Walter, how’s it coming? The vegetables are about ready.”

“Just a few minutes more,” Skinner answers her, and looks back at Mulder. Mulder looks back at him, his face expressionless.

x-x-x-x

“Mulder, what did you do at the FBI?” Linda asks about halfway through dinner.

“I guess Sk-Walter hasn’t told you much,” Mulder grins. “I don’t blame him, to most people it sounds pretty farfetched. I used to be in charge of a little division called the X-Files. And Scully, I mean Dana, was my partner.”

“Walter said it was an unusual department. What did you do?”

Mulder looks over at Skinner, a slight question in his eyes. Skinner looks back impassively. Do your worst, Mulder, he says silently. Maybe he should have warned Linda, maybe he’s been a chickenshit not to tell her more himself, but it’s too late to do anything about it now.

“We investigated unexplained cases,” Mulder says. “Alien abductions, supernatural phenomena, government conspiracies, and the like.”

“You investigated them to disprove them? That’s a pretty unusual job. I didn’t think that the FBI would be that interested in such things, except maybe the government conspiracies.”

“They weren’t actually very interested in anyone proving or disproving these cases,” Mulder replies. “I came upon them because of a…personal interest, and decided that they needed looking into. Then Scully was assigned to the division and things really got interesting.”

“I was assigned to debunk Agent Mulder’s work,” Scully says in a formal tone, much like she’s making a report.

“Not that she could,” Mulder says with a grin. “She did her best, though.”

Linda’s eyes grow wider. “You mean, you could prove the things you investigated were true?”

“Not exactly,” Dana says, and Skinner can see that she’s ready to launch into lecture mode and in a minute, Linda will be treated to the Mulder and Scully Great Debate.

Mulder surprises him by stepping in before Dana can begin. “Some were true, and others weren’t. Still more were never proven one way or another,” he says with a smile at Dana. “Scully has always said that everything can be proven by science, you just have to know where to look.”

Scully smiles back at Mulder when he says that.

“Do you still think that, Dana?” Linda asks.

Scully says very seriously, “I’ve seen things that I can’t explain. Maybe one day the science will exist to explain them, but not at the moment.”

“Never give up, do you, Scully?” Mulder says softly, his fondness for her shining in his eyes.

“Never,” Scully responds right back, matching him gaze for gaze. Skinner has the impression that both he and Linda have disappeared off the face of the earth for the moment.

Linda catches Skinner’s eye and smiles, and reaches over to squeeze his hand. “I’d love to hear about some of your cases, if you can talk about them,” she says to Mulder.

Mulder looks at Scully again. “There might be a few we can talk about,” he says.

Scully says. “Very few, if you’re talking about cases we can agree on.”

x-x-x-x

An hour later, Scully nudges Mulder. “I think we can save some for another time, Mulder,” she says, and he stops in mid- description of Sheriff Lucius Hartwell of Cheney, Texas.

“Sorry,” he says. “I got a little carried away.”

“Oh, no,” Linda says. “Thank you for telling me about your cases. They’re very interesting.”

Skinner glances at her. Mulder stuck to stories that while unusual, weren’t terribly frightening. He’d stayed away from any that put himself or Scully in danger directly, or touched on any government involvement. They can all maintain a little distance, a little perspective, with tales about a man with phenomenal luck, or killer cockroaches. Still, he would have expected a little more of a reaction than this polite social one.

Later, he’ll ask Linda what she really thinks of all this. He’s sure that she’s tempering her reactions, same as Mulder is editing his retelling of events.

They have pie and coffee in the living room, and talk turns to more general subjects. Linda asks after Will, and before long she and Scully are trading kid stories.

When Mulder and Scully get up to go, Skinner is surprised to see how much time has passed. Linda stands next to him at the door as they say goodnight. She and Scully make plans to visit the farmer’s market together one Saturday. Mulder catches Skinner’s eye and grins, sketching a thumbs up.

As soon as the door shuts, Linda turns to Skinner. “That wasn’t so bad, was it? I didn’t embarrass you, or anything?”

“Linda, you couldn’t embarrass me if you tried,” Skinner tells her, and kisses her forehead as she wraps her arms around his waist. “Did you like them?”

“They’re very nice. Mulder *is* kind of intense, isn’t he? He reminds me of someone else I know,” Linda teases him, resting her chin against his chest so she can look up at him. “You weren’t kidding about the weird cases, were you? Mulder sounds like he misses it. Why did he quit?”

“He didn’t quit,” Skinner tells her. “He was fired.”

“Oh,” Linda says blankly. “I’m glad I didn’t say anything. You should have told me, though, it could have been awkward, if I’d asked him.” She lets go of Skinner. “Come on, let’s get these dishes picked up.” She starts gathering mugs and plates from the coffee table.

“What did you think of the stories he told?” Skinner asks, trying his best to keep his tone neutral.

Linda pauses in her task. “They were pretty strange, but I just got the feeling I wasn’t hearing everything.”

“I remember some of these incidents, though I wasn’t directly involved in them,” Skinner says. “He did pretty much stick to the official reports tonight.”

“But there’s more to it, isn’t there? You seem pretty accepting of them. You’ve heard them before, he wasn’t just telling stories for my benefit, was he?”

“Of course not,” Skinner says. “You know me better than that by now, don’t you?”

“I think there’s a lot I don’t know about you, Walter Skinner,” Linda says. “You still keep a lot bottled up, don’t you?” She won’t stay still; she’s fiddling around in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher, wiping down the counters.

Skinner leans against the counter and watches her. “There’s a lot I should have told you,” he says heavily. “About the work, about the things that have happened to me, to all of us, over the years. You should know. It’s only fair that you do.”

Linda is still not looking at him. “I’m sure you’ll tell me, when you’re ready,” she says.

He’d like nothing better to do than to curl up on his couch with her, and hold her close, and forget about all of this. But he knows that he can’t. He remembers her trusting look earlier in the evening, and he wants to be sure he still deserves it. “I can start,” he says.

“I don’t want to force you into telling me things you don’t want to tell me,” she says softly.

“I can start,” he says again. “I need to tell you some things.” He takes the dishtowel out of her hands and leads her into the living room. He sits down with her on the couch, not letting go of her hands.

He looks at her for a long minute before he begins. She looks back at him with such openness and trust that he knows he has to tell her everything. He sends up a brief prayer that she will still look at him like this when he’s done.

She hasn’t removed her hands from his; he feels anchored by them. He clears his throat. “I told you that I joined the Marines when I was eighteen, and I was sent to Viet Nam.”

She nods, her eyes never leaving his.

“What I haven’t told you is what happened to me there…”

end.