Interval

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Distribution: Kimpa and Enigmatic Dr., always; Ephemeral, Gossamer, or if you’ve archived me before, yes; if you haven’t, please just let me know and leave headers, email addy, etc. attached. Thanks!
Spoilers: Agua Mala, Two Fathers/One Son
Rating: PG-13
Classification: Vignette
Keywords: Mulder/Scully UST
Summary: Bridging gaps and redefining partnership. A conversation after Agua Mala and before Monday

Disclaimer: These characters aren’t mine. They mostly belong to the actors who portrayed them, but Chris Carter created them, and Ten Thirteen and FOX own the rights. I mean no infringement, and I’m not making any profit from them. But I am forever grateful for their existence!

Author’s note: this is the second in a series of stories showing Mulder and Scully working through their differences after the events of Two Fathers/One Son. The first story is “Sounding the Depths.”

I also offer a tip o’ the hat to Carol, who manages to pique my interest with her comments and observations about M & S, and was kind enough to give this story the once-over. Thanks again!

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Interval
by ML

Dana Scully would not normally be in this part of town, unless she was on a case. She wasn’t afraid, just cautious. And really, there was nothing here that she’d want, generally speaking. She sidestepped the trash blowing across the sidewalk and opened the door to a promising shop. This one had a cardboard alien mask in the grimy, flyspecked window. It looked gray, though perhaps it was just faded from the sun. Surely the sun must shine in this part of town sometimes. Just not today.

In a moment she was back on the sidewalk. No luck. She stood outside the shop and reviewed her options. She was tired and a bit out of sorts. She hadn’t really planned to spend her whole Saturday doing this. She’d tried the most obvious place, absolutely certain that she’d find what she sought there. Four tries later, it appeared she was doomed to failure.

As of Monday, she and Mulder would be reinstated to the X Files. Scully had wanted to get something to commemorate the occasion. She’d come down to the shop where Mulder had gotten his “I Want to Believe” poster to get a replacement for him, but evidently they were out of them, and had no clues as to where she might find another.

If she’d thought of it sooner, she might have looked on the Internet and gotten one in time for their first day back. But until recently, they’d had no idea they’d be getting the X Files back. Scully hadn’t even been sure she’d ever work with Mulder again. She wasn’t even sure if they could.

Now they’d just gotten back from working a case together. An unofficial one, to be sure, but it had given Scully some hope for the future. Neither of them had said anything directly. Mulder hadn’t apologized, and Scully hadn’t either. Neither of them had yet referred to any of the events that had driven them apart. But Mulder, in his way, had offered the olive branch. Scully felt it was important to make a reciprocal gesture.

She’d blown the whole idea out of proportion, but it was important to her to show Mulder that she was ready and willing to work with him again, despite the difficult year they’d had. It was a gesture, to be sure, but they’d been at odds for so long, and she didn’t want to be. There were some things on which they’d have to agree to disagree, but they’d managed to do so in the past.

Her most fervent hope was that the subject of their worst disagreement was resolved. Diana Fowley appeared to have been discredited, at least in the eyes of officialdom. She wasn’t as sure that Mulder felt that way, but at the very least Scully hoped that they could move on. She would always harbor suspicions about the other agent. All she could hope for was that she’d opened Mulder’s eyes to the possibility that she wasn’t what she seemed to him.

She felt dirty just standing on the sidewalk here. She got a number of sidelong glances from the few passersby. Once she heard a muttered “hey baby” from some punk, but she ignored him and he went on his way. She wasn’t here on official business, though she had her badge and her gun — and carried herself in such a way that no one in his right mind would mess with her. Even dressed casually, a stranger would think twice about approaching her with evil intent. Nonetheless, Scully felt the absence of Mulder. She knew she could take care of herself, and she wasn’t afraid, but Mulder’s presence at her side gave her an added confidence.

She walked rapidly past the bars, the rundown hotels, head shops, and adult bookstores, intent on getting home and washing the grime off. On the other side of the street, she noticed a seen-better- days theater and glanced up at the marquee. “Deep and Deeper,” said one side, and “Babes: Big in the City” on the other. She rolled her eyes. She half expected to see Mulder standing there, reading the movie posters.

Just then, the door opened from the lobby and Mulder appeared, looking up and down the street for someone or something. Surely not for her. She had her cell phone with her, but she hadn’t gotten a call all afternoon. She didn’t want Mulder to see her. He might think she followed him, and nothing could be further from the truth. But before she could make any kind of move, Mulder spotted her. He raised his hand in greeting and loped across the street to her.

“Hey Scully,” he said easily. “You weren’t following me, were you?”

Scully blushed. “Of course not, Mulder,” she said, more sharply than she intended.

Mulder shrugged. “Okay. I mean, it’s okay if you were, though I would have invited you if I thought you wanted to come. I got someone else to come along, so don’t worry, I had backup.”

Scully didn’t like the sound of that at all. Had he called Diana when she’d told him she was busy today? Would she always be waiting in the wings, ready to leap in at a moment’s notice? Maybe she’d happened to be there when Mulder got the call and offered to go along. Happened to be there, in his apartment perhaps.

Unwelcome thoughts. Unworthy thoughts. Scully shook them away and tried to concentrate on what Mulder was saying.

“Did you need me for something? I thought you were busy today,” he said.

“I am. I was. I’m done now,” Scully said. As usual, she couldn’t think fast enough to come up with any kind of plausible excuse. “I’m going home. Do you need a ride?”

Maybe he already had a ride. Maybe he’d come out front to wait for Diana. Oh, Jesus. Would that woman haunt her for the rest of her days?

“Not so fast, Scully,” Mulder said. “What *are* you doing down here? Have you developed a taste for porn all of a sudden? Have you been down here before?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“Just once,” Scully said. She decided to tell at least part of the truth. Maybe Mulder would let it go at that. “I wanted to get a poster like yours for someone.”

“Oh yeah. That guy in Maine, right?” Mulder looked at her assessingly. “So that’s what you were down here for?”

“Yes, that’s right,” Scully said. She mentally breathed a sigh of relief, but it was too soon.

“But what are you doing down here today?” Mulder persisted.

“Nothing worth reporting. It didn’t pan out anyway.”

“Were you following up on a lead? Are you moonlighting with Violent Crimes again, Scully?” Mulder asked with feigned jealousy. “Are you holding out on me? C’mon, share. I’ll tell you what I was doing,” he said with a leer.

Scully just raised her eyebrows in reply.

“It’s not what you think,” he said a little defensively. “I know the guy who runs the movie house and he had some info for me.”

“It’s okay, Mulder. It doesn’t matter why you’re down here. It’s none of my business. I’m sorry if you thought I was following you.” The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was checking up on him. She turned away.

“Maybe it is your business,” Mulder said, putting his hand on her arm. “Maybe I should explain why I didn’t come down here for the reason you think. Why I haven’t for quite some time.”

Scully went cold inside. She wasn’t sure that this was something she wanted to hear. “Mulder, what you do in your off hours is your business. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“But I want to,” he insisted. “Ask me why I watch the movies I watch. I’ve never really made a secret of it, have I?”

“Mulder, we don’t have to talk about this,” Scully protested.

“I think we do,” Mulder said. “These aren’t the ideal circumstances, but there’s no time like the present. In fact, I’d say the timing is as good as it’s gonna get. So, answer my question.”

“I’m not a psychiatrist, Mulder. I can’t speak to reasons and motivations.”

“So pick an obvious one. It’ll probably be right,” Mulder said.

This was embarrassing. She’d never had a problem with Mulder’s porn habit, she’d even teased him gently about it from time to time. But with him pressing the issue, she felt uncomfortable. It was more information than she wanted, especially if it was heading where she thought it was heading. She wasn’t a psychiatrist, but she knew sublimation when she saw it.

“I suppose because you like them,” Scully says. “They fulfill a need, like romance novels for women. A — a substitute, perhaps.” She was an adult, she shouldn’t feel so uncomfortable discussing this. But this was Mulder, and it wasn’t a casual conversation. Mulder was asking his questions with some purpose in mind.

“They used to fill a need,” Mulder said. “Not so much anymore.”

The wind picked up again and blew a plastic bag against Scully’s feet. She shuddered and kicked it away before responding to Mulder’s expectant silence. “You don’t need them any more,” she said. Mulder nodded. “Or they just aren’t enough any more?”

“That’s not really it. But things change. Interests change … sometimes, circumstances change. Or you have hope that they’ll change, anyway. I don’t wanna get ahead of myself.”

Scully felt a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. “You mean –” she started and faltered. Her mouth and lips felt dry. She didn’t want to hear about the change in circumstances. She could guess but she didn’t want to do that, either. “What do you mean?” she asked instead. All the misery she’d felt for the past several months came back full force. Just when she’d thought they were getting back on track, something — or someone — came along to derail them again. She thought she knew who, but she couldn’t even bear to think the name.

Mulder was looking at her with concern. “I don’t want to upset you, or for you to take this the wrong way, Scully. I’ve tried to find a way to tell you, but somehow the time was never right.”

Oh Mulder. Scully felt her heart rate increase and her stomach roiled. She gritted her teeth and made her eyes meet Mulder’s.

“I can’t tell you here, out on the street like this. Come on,” Mulder said abruptly, and grabbed her hand. “Where are you parked?”

“Around the corner,” Scully managed to get out. “What about you?”

“I got a ride down here. I was gonna take a cab home. I don’t like to leave my car down here, and neither should you.”

“B-but I thought you said someone came down here with you!”

“Yeah, and he decided to stay and catch the double feature. But don’t tell him I told you. He’d kill me.”

Now Scully was really confused. “Who came down here with you?”

“Frohike, of course. I think he thought you’d be here, too. I let him think it, anyway.” Mulder grinned.

She hadn’t realized that her heart had stopped momentarily until she felt a thud in her chest, and the blood rose to her face. Mulder was walking a little behind her, his hand at her back, and she was thankful that he couldn’t see her face.

They got to the car, and even though it was Scully’s, she gave Mulder the keys. Her legs were shaking.

Mulder drove them away from the seedy streets and along some slightly less seedy ones, parking the car in an alley.

He turned in his seat to face Scully. “Okay, where was I?”

“You were talking about porn movies,” Scully said softly.

“Not exactly,” Mulder said. “I’m sorry, these still aren’t the ideal conditions, but I’m afraid if I wait for the right time, it’s never gonna happen. We start back on the X Files Monday, Scully, and I know what will happen. We’ll go on assignments, we’ll get busy, and everything will go back to normal. Except that it isn’t normal, and it shouldn’t be normal. Things have changed between us, and we need to address it now, before we get back into the same old rut.”

Scully looked at him a little defiantly. “What do you want me to say, Mulder? That I’m sorry for checking up on Agent Fowley? I *am* sorry for the way it hurt you, but –”

“This has nothing to do with her. I wish you could forget about her,” Mulder said. “That’s what I’m trying to do.”

“Really?” Scully asked.

“Really,” Mulder replied. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about.”

The silence stretched out between them. Mulder picked at a spot on the steering wheel. Scully watched him.

Finally, Mulder said, “Oh hell, I’m just gonna say it. The reason I don’t care about those videos and movies and things any more is you. Just you. I couldn’t watch that crap anymore because of you.”

“Mulder, I’ve never said I disapproved, I never –”

Mulder held up his hand. “I didn’t say you did, and I hope you won’t take this the wrong way, but that stuff has lost its appeal. I say it’s you, because what I look forward to is seeing you every day. Your face, your smile, hearing your voice. I won’t say that I haven’t hoped for more one day, but the reality of you in my life is better than any fantasy. Better than any half-dozen fantasies.”

Scully didn’t say anything. She stared at her fingers twisting in her lap. What was he saying? That she was his fantasy now? She wasn’t sure.

“Hey Scully,” Mulder said quietly. “If you’re gonna turn me down I wish you’d do it and end the suspense.”

Scully did look up at him then. “I guess I don’t know what you’re offering,” she said.

Mulder touched her hand, just briefly, and then withdrew it again. “Me,” he said simply. “Such as I am. Warts and all.” He laughed softly, but it wasn’t a very happy laugh. “I dunno, I kind of had an idea that maybe you felt the same way toward me. Bad timing on my part. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and a lot more lately. When I saw you across the street this afternoon, it was like a sign or something.” He rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair. “Guess I was wrong though, huh?”

She hadn’t expected this. She’d thought, a diffident and awkward apology, maybe. But a declaration? A declaration of what? That he needed her, yes, he’d said that before. But this was something more than that.

That he wanted her? More than as a partner, or as a friend? Could she be interpreting his words correctly?

It was too much to take in. She was still working her way back to partnership and friendship. She wasn’t sure she had more to offer than that. Or that Mulder wasn’t offering this in desperation, as he’d seemed to do once before.

But if she was truly honest with herself, she did want this. She wanted everything Mulder seemed to be offering to her. She’d wanted it for a long time, no matter how much she pretended otherwise.

Scully turned her back toward the car door so she could face Mulder. He was staring straight ahead, his hands gripping the wheel like they were moving forward and he had to pay attention to the road. He needed something from her. This was her chance to make the reciprocal gesture, if she was brave enough.

They’d been stalled for a long time. She could see that now, and that they shared the blame equally. They were both always so sure that their way was the right way, and everyone else was wrong.

Maybe, though, it was only when they worked together that they were right. Maybe once they were working together again, the other things would work out, too.

“Mulder,” she said, and he turned toward her. His eyes looked wary and hurt, and she couldn’t stand that. “I should tell you why I was down here today.”

He didn’t say anything, but she saw the spark of hope ignite deep in his eyes. He waited for her to speak again.

“I was looking for the poster. The poster for *our* office,” she said. “‘I Want to Believe,'” she enunciated slowly, so that he understood it wasn’t only the poster she referred to.

A slow smile started taking over his face. He held his arms out to her and said softly, “c’mere, Scully.”

She went. As well as they could in the car, they embraced. Mulder buried his nose in her neck, and she pressed her lips against his throat, feeling the pulse there. He nudged his way up her chin and she felt his mouth questing over her skin.

Oh God, was he going to kiss her? Scully wasn’t sure if she was ready for this.

She’d watched his mouth for years, speaking, eating, pursed in thought. She’d even seen him kissing other women, more than once. Maybe even as far back as the first time she’d seen him with someone else, she’d put herself in that place and wondered what his mouth would feel like on hers. In his sultry hallway last summer, she’d anticipated it, even welcomed it.

Now she knew that nothing she’d ever imagined, or even felt from other lips, could compare even remotely to this. His mouth was warm and moist and his lips were soft and pliant. He moved his mouth on hers slowly back and forth, pausing to nibble at her bottom lip and then pressing his full mouth against hers. She reciprocated, suckling his lower lip. For the moment, she had no doubts, no fears. She just let herself feel.

Scully’s hands had moved up to Mulder’s shoulders and then cradled his head as he kissed her. She parted her lips to him, letting his tongue steal past to explore her more fully. His arms tightened around her, pulling her close to his chest. She could feel the pounding of his heart.

Then she heard the tapping on the glass and they sprung apart.

There was a cop at Mulder’s window, and now she could see the prowler with its flashing lights behind them in the alley.

Mulder rolled down his window and said to the cop, “We’re FBI. I’m going to reach into my coat pocket and get my badge, okay?”

The cop nodded. He glanced at Mulder’s badge and then gestured for Scully’s ID. She flipped it open and passed it to Mulder.

The cop studied them for a moment. “What are you doing here?”

Maybe he hadn’t seen them. Mulder said, “We’re staking out that building over there.”

“Uh huh,” said the cop. He handed back their IDs. “Got a piece of advice for you,” he said to Mulder. He leaned down to speak softly in Mulder’s ear but Scully could hear him anyway. “Get a room,” he said. “This is no place to take a lady.” He chuckled, clapping Mulder on the shoulder before he lumbered away.

“I’m sorry, Scully,” Mulder said when the cop had gone. “That’s just what I wanted to avoid for us.”

“I’m as much to blame,” Scully said. “I didn’t try and stop you, did I? Though maybe I should have.” She licked her lips and they tasted like Mulder. But she couldn’t let herself enjoy it. Not now.

Mulder groaned. “Don’t tell me you didn’t want it. I won’t believe you.”

Scully touched his hand, and he turned his palm up to grasp hers. “That’s not it. But a week ago, we were barely speaking to each other. I need a little time, we both need a little time, to adjust to being partners again.”

“Fair enough,” he said, and his expression lightened a little. But you do admit to the possibility, right? That there’s more than a partnership here?”

“I’ve believed in more extreme possibilities than that, Mulder,” she said. “But it’s not more than a partnership, it’s just more partnership. Both equally committed to the same goal.”

“You’re taking quite a risk, using that word `commitment’ around a guy,” he teased. It was nice that he could joke again. Scully, however, still felt like she was standing on quicksand.

“What do we do now?” she asked softly, more to herself than to Mulder.

He heard her, and he smiled in such a way that she felt a fluttering in her stomach — quite different than the sick feeling she’d felt earlier.

“It’s probably just as well he came by when he did,” Mulder said, referring to the cop. “No telling what might have happened otherwise.”

“Hm,” Scully said noncommittally. “No telling.” Somehow her hand was still enclosed in Mulder’s. He gave it a squeeze and let it go.

“I’ll drive to my place and then,” he said with a touch of regret, “you can drive home from there. I still have some stuff to do for Skinner’s meeting Monday morning.”

There’d been a message for each of them when they’d gotten back from Florida. Their first full day back was filled with meetings.

“Great way to start our first week back, huh?” Mulder asked.

“Don’t you even try to get out of it,” Scully warned him. “If I have to go, you have to go.” About the work, she was on surer ground. Anything else, well, she’d wait and see.

“Of course, Partner,” Mulder said, inflecting the word with many shades of meaning.

end.

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